Before We Change the World, We Must End Our Inner War

War Begets War

War and bloodshed ALWAYS beget more war and bloodshed. This idea echoes the words of MLK:

When you hear these words, perhaps you feel an immediate resonance, a recognition of something deeper. If you are anything like me, though, there's also a temptation to distance yourself--to see conflict and division as existing “out there,” among other people, other countries, other families.

As we collectively enter a period of significant global turmoil, it's tempting to look outward, to blame external circumstances. Yet, while these outer conflicts are undeniably real, lasting peace fundamentally requires each of us to bravely confront and reconcile the parallel conflicts occurring within our own hearts, minds, and bodies.

Inner Conflict Reflects Outer Chaos

Through painful personal experience, I’ve realized that each of us is a microcosm of the entire universe. The chaos and strife that appear external reflect internal dynamics. War creates more war; hate breeds more hate--and this cycle begins within each of us. External conflicts merely mirror our collective internal state.

Let me share some of my own journey.

Throughout life, beginning in my early teenage years, I’ve carried increasing physical pain, steadily building over 25 years. For decades, I believed this pain had purely physical roots, seeking relief through doctors, neurologists, physical therapists, and chiropractors. Despite spending tens of thousands of dollars, my pain intensified, eventually overwhelming my nervous system.

Something shifted when I recognized my suffering was rooted in an internal war--a persistent emotional conflict waged silently within me, manifesting physically. This revelation changed everything.

While the pain didn’t disappeared instantly, nor has it completely resolved, healing began when I turned inward, compassionately listening to the warring parts of myself, holding space for each fragmented voice to finally speak. Gradually, my nervous system has started to unwind, finding moments of peace and coherence.

The Mirror of Society

I began to clearly see how this inner turmoil reflected outwardly, mirrored in society’s finger-pointing, blame, and pervasive fear--all behaviors I intimately recognize in myself.

Mystics and philosophers have illuminated this truth for centuries. Rumi warned:

Jiddu Krishnamurti described external violence as simply "the spectacular and bloody projection of our everyday life." Carl Jung pinpointed the greatest psychological error as projecting our shadows onto others, a revelation that rings true with my own daily experience.

Each day, I saw myself projecting my unacknowledged hurt, fear, and anger onto those closest to me--my spouse, my children, those I love most.

If internal wars ignite external conflicts, then peace must begin internally--not through treaties, but through personal integration.

The Cost of Internal Conflict

Psychologically and somatically, unresolved internal conflict is a powerful source of outward harm. Traumatic experiences, especially those from early life, can cause us to dissociate, fragment, and reject parts of ourselves deemed too painful. These suppressed parts do not vanish quietly--they demand to be heard, surfacing as reactivity, aggression, or withdrawal.

For years, one part of me tirelessly hustled for worth, while another seethed quietly in resentment. Physically, this manifested through chronic tension, exhaustion, and emotional volatility.

Modern neuroscience confirms that chronic internal conflict traps the nervous system in a perpetual fight-or-flight response, inflaming our cells and skewing our perception.

When at war with myself, I found it significantly harder to love openly--becoming defensive, less compassionate, unknowingly perpetuating the very conflicts I criticized externally.

The Ripple of Inner Peace

Yet just as conflict ripples outward, peace does too.

As I’ve embarked on this inward journey, I have noticed meaningful shifts in how I parent, communicate, and connect with others. My capacity to hold tension without immediate reactivity, and to seek forgiveness rather than defaulting to blame, has gradually transformed family dynamics and professional relationships.

I want to be clear though: this remains a sincere but imperfect and ongoing process still taking place within me. Cultivating inner peace and modeling forgiveness is not something I've mastered--it’s an honest, messy, and humbling path I'm actively walking, navigating significant challenges along the way.

Systems thinkers recognize the fractal nature of conflict. The internal patterns that drive me to overwork or criticize my loved ones reflect the insecurities behind leaders who escalate conflicts globally.

Thomas Hübl, a leader in collective trauma healing, asserts:

Every internal reconciliation contributes quietly but in a very real way to global peace.

Calling Home Our Inner Soldiers

Imagine your inner landscape as a vast battlefield now growing quiet as each weary soldier within your psyche is called home, allowed to lay down their weapons and take rest.

True peace isn't mere stillness--it emerges naturally when we cease our internal battles, embracing every part of ourselves, even those we’ve long rejected.

Reflect for a moment: What parts of yourself have you exiled? Judged harshly? Battled relentlessly? What might it feel like to welcome these parts home, to offer them kindness and reconciliation?

This journey toward inner peace isn't simply self-improvement--it's quietly revolutionary, profoundly shaping our world. Every moment of internal healing ripples outward, inspiring others toward compassion and understanding.

Envision peace not as the mere absence of conflict but as an active, vibrant presence--of reconciliation, acceptance, and wholeness. When we cease rejecting parts of ourselves and humanity, we remove the fertile soil where war and hatred grow.

When vengeance within our hearts fades, external cycles of conflict dissolve, gradually replaced by compassion and understanding.

Thus, the timeless truth emerges clearly: healing the world begins with healing ourselves.

Every act of inner peace lights a candle, and as more candles glow, the darkness of violence recedes. In the words of the Sufi mystics, when our hearts finally rest in peace, the entire world shines softly, beautifully illuminated by that peace.

With peace and possibility,
Matt